I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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