he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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