Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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