We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
