idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
