This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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