She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
