don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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