What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
bring money and cleavage
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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