When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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