i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
