atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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