break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The beer is more important than you right now.
Dignity is for republicans.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
