Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I touched a dick in church today
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