just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
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I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
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The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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