hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I believe in your delicious
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
