why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
