I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
