I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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