i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
