Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
