did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
