So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
