Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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