you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
