Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Quick, to the slutcave!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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