you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
