Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
