I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
