We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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