i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
