Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
