her vagine was all disorganized.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Drake has all the answers
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
