'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
