now i know why i became what i already was.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be right there i have to get my cape
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize