Buhtt sex?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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