i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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