when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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