somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
