so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Hippo gnu deer
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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