Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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