No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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