You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
