So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
