haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize