We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
