Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
