I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
