then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
