I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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