brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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