Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize