Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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