you guys were way drunker than both of me
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
