I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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