I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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