i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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