I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
