honey bunches of taint.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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