Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
