So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
