absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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