they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
